Thoughts...

                                  This picture was taken on Ryan's first easter...a fun day!

Well, I have been wanting to write for a while now, but it just seems like time gets away from me, or I am busy making goofy faces at Ryan, hoping to get a smile (which he has been doing for a while now). These past few weeks have been wonderful learning what our new life as a family of 3.5 (.5 being the dog). I do have to say that I LOVE being at home with Ryan. My days mostly consist of feedings, changings, singing, playing, sleeping, trying to clean and cook, and just enjoying my little guy...I could not be more happier with my life right now. God has known the desire of my heart has been for a long time to be a mom and a wife, and I truly feel that I am living the dream.
 I have been remembering my time that I spent in Romania about 5 years ago. Shellie and I would go to the baby hospital just to hold and change babies. I keep thinking about how they are just left in their crib for hours, and even when they are fed, they aren't usually held. It breaks my heart because I know that God has created us as relational beings and need touch. I have read research on the power of touch and how it helps growth both physically and emotionally. So, I think of all the time I spend just holding Ryan and how many babies don't get that. It reminds me to take advantage of the time that I have with him, and the importance of the attention that I can give him.
This past week my heart has been heavy and burdened as well. Since Ryan has been born, I have had two friends who have lost their babies, and one couple who is in the hospital right now whose premature baby is on a respirator, and we are praying for a miracle that God will grow that sweet baby's lungs. It is SO extremely hard to hear of these tragedies and I try to understand how these things can happen. But I trust that God is good and loving and has a plan and reason. I cannot be more thankful to have Ryan and his health, but I feel guilty for having a healthy baby when others don't. It's a struggle right now...

Well, Ryan has woken up and needs me now. This blog was scattered...hope it makes sense. This journey of life is incredible...love the learning that I am doing right now.