Thoughts...

                                  This picture was taken on Ryan's first easter...a fun day!

Well, I have been wanting to write for a while now, but it just seems like time gets away from me, or I am busy making goofy faces at Ryan, hoping to get a smile (which he has been doing for a while now). These past few weeks have been wonderful learning what our new life as a family of 3.5 (.5 being the dog). I do have to say that I LOVE being at home with Ryan. My days mostly consist of feedings, changings, singing, playing, sleeping, trying to clean and cook, and just enjoying my little guy...I could not be more happier with my life right now. God has known the desire of my heart has been for a long time to be a mom and a wife, and I truly feel that I am living the dream.
 I have been remembering my time that I spent in Romania about 5 years ago. Shellie and I would go to the baby hospital just to hold and change babies. I keep thinking about how they are just left in their crib for hours, and even when they are fed, they aren't usually held. It breaks my heart because I know that God has created us as relational beings and need touch. I have read research on the power of touch and how it helps growth both physically and emotionally. So, I think of all the time I spend just holding Ryan and how many babies don't get that. It reminds me to take advantage of the time that I have with him, and the importance of the attention that I can give him.
This past week my heart has been heavy and burdened as well. Since Ryan has been born, I have had two friends who have lost their babies, and one couple who is in the hospital right now whose premature baby is on a respirator, and we are praying for a miracle that God will grow that sweet baby's lungs. It is SO extremely hard to hear of these tragedies and I try to understand how these things can happen. But I trust that God is good and loving and has a plan and reason. I cannot be more thankful to have Ryan and his health, but I feel guilty for having a healthy baby when others don't. It's a struggle right now...

Well, Ryan has woken up and needs me now. This blog was scattered...hope it makes sense. This journey of life is incredible...love the learning that I am doing right now.

Tis the Season for....love and babies!!! :)

It is the day after Christmas, and I love the calmness of this morning....I can't sleep for too long anymore thanks to my active bun in the oven...but I don't mind at all. I have always loved my morning times when Jason is sleeping and I have some time for myself to read, pray and journal. :) Well, Christmas was wonderful...I don't know how we did it, but we had 10 (we were originally planning for eight and weren't sure how that was going to work in our place) people and 3 little dogs at our home. It actually got to the point where people showed up that we weren't expecting, and we didn't have enough chairs or cups...thank goodness my Grandma was on her way and was able to turn back and grab what we needed! :)I loved cooking a ham dinner with all the fixins' and was blessed with the amazing help of my awesome sister-in-law. It was special for me because I had my side and Jason's side of the family over and was able to celebrate with the people I love. (We missed you though mom and dad in Portugal!!)I was pretty tired by the end of the day, and I realized that my legs were swollen from standing most the day, but it was all worth it, and I am so glad we were able to have everyone over.

I also have a joy in my heart this morning because I have been not only thinking about how close we are getting to meeting our little Ryan, but because of the great news of life that we have heard lately. It is definitely the season of love...we have had about 5 of our friends get engaged within the past two weeks, and we are so excited about the joining of lives that God is doing. We were also engaged around this time on December 18, 2006, so it is fun to remember the excitement of that time, and all that God has done for us since then. Also, last night we found out that our friends who were in ministry with us last year are pregnant, expecting in August, and when I got on facebook this morning, one of my dear friends from High School posted that she gave birth to a baby girl! Hearing about the new life that God brings never gets old!! In the past few months, one of my best friends, Sara, found out she is pregnant with her second, my other super close friend, found out that she is pregnant with her second, and I have had some other friends tell the news as well. The journey of life is so exciting, and I love this season that I'm in right now. I love how God brings love, we share love with others, find the person we desire to love for ever, and that love produces new life....so cool! I can't get over it...Praise be to Jesus for what He is doing.