Love watching Ryan grow

There have been many times recently where I stop and just look at Ryan and think how crazy it is how much he has grown already, and how much he has developed. Just this week, I had an 'aha' type-moment. It was Saturday night and I was cleaning the house. Ryan was wide awake, and I put him in his activity gym. So, I have this thing that when he is awake, I really just want to be with him interacting instead of doing my 'to-do' list, I usually save that for the nap times. Well, I really needed to clean, and this was one of the only times that I had. So, as I was cleaning, I was also watching Ryan, and he was grabbing the toys hanging from his activity gym and totally interacting with them....soooo cool! He usually just kind of looks and wiggles, but doesn't interact. I felt good about letting him explore on his own and see how he is developing. And, he is lifting his head up more and more during tummy time, and just getting so strong. I am loving these little mile-stones, and it makes me so excited to see him crawl, walk, run, talk, and just grow into a little boy. This parent-thing is pretty amazing, and I feel blessed to be given this gift. Here are some pics of him sitting in his bumbo playing with the gym, and also a new thing is that he LOVES to hug his burp cloths and try to stick them in his mouth. :)

Grieving

Life is a journey, and many times feels like a rollercoaster, with its ups, downs and loopedy loops. No matter how great or how awful things are right now, they aren't going to stay that way. It's the way that life is, and the way that I feel like God has it in order for us to experience all that He has for us. If we didn't know pain, we wouldn't relish in the excitement of joy. If we didn't know happiness, the pain of sadness wouldn't sting so bad. I think about the gift of emotions that God gives us, and how He uses them to show us more of Him, and how he even gifts some with stronger emotions than others. It's all about how we are the body of Christ and each of us is unique in our own way.

Well, one gift that I feel that God has given me is compassion and empathy. Empathy literally translates as in feeling, the capability to share another's being's emotions and feelings. Now with every gift, and with almost all things in life, there are positives and negatives. One positive is that I am super sensitive to what others around me are feeling, and I am able to empathize with others easily. I also carry around other's burdens, which can sometimes be a good thing and a not so good thing. One of the verses that it usually swimming around in my head is Romans 12:15: "Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn." It is easy and fun to rejoice with others, but with the mourning that is the tough road. 


Since Ryan has been born, which is a little over 3 months, I have had 3 friends of mine whose babies have gone to be in the arms of Jesus. Now, we can rejoice in that fact, but oh the mourning of not having those babies in their earthly parents arms is hard to swallow. Now, I have cried and cried and hurt and prayed for these poor parents, but have struggled these last few months with what to do with the the hurt and pain that I feel for these parents. Grief is a road in the journey of life that is full of hardships and obstacles. It leaves a mark on us that shapes us as a person. I know because I lost my mother to a drug addiction when I was in the 7th grade. Now, there has been some amazing things that God has done in my life because of that, but the scar will always be there. And, it is hard to wonder why God allows things like that to happen. But that is where faith comes in, and that is one thing that I have been so amazed with with each of the grieving parents. They have such faith that God is sovereign and in control even when they feel angry and in despair. It's amazing how strong the hope that we have in Christ is. I cannot imagine what they are going through, and wouldn't want to know, but am amazed by their transparency and faith that has been grown tremendously. 


Now, I am not really sure what I want the point of this blog to be. These parents have been on my heart and mind every day, and I pray and know that God is there with them and bringing them through the pain, but I also know that it is hard, and their journey is long. One of the things that I have been made aware of is to treasure every moment that God has given us with those that we love. We really are only here for a short while, and time is a gift. It has made me not worry about my 'to-do' list as much, but to just be and love. I am still learning, and have a long way to go. My heart and love goes out to those that have lost, and for those of you who haven't...you will. But our God is a good God. Treasure the moments that He gives us now, even in the hard times. We are promised that we will not be given more than what we can bear, and God is faithful, He will provide a way. Much love to those families who know who you are. You are an inspiration and know that your precious angel babies will never be forgotten. 

Top ten reasons why I love being a mom!

So, I have been a mom for only 3 months, but I am addicted!! There is nothing like it. There are soo many reasons why I love being a mom, here are just a few :

1. The peace that all is well when he is asleep in my arms
2. The sweet smiles I get from him numerous times a day.
3. The story time we have as a family.
4. How funny it is that I can look at him all day and not get bored.
5. Thinking of how God had created Ryan wonderfully and perfectly.
6. The smiles I get from complete strangers
7. Family and friends oohing and ahing over him.
8. I don't ever have to give Ryan to someone else, he is our baby :)
9. Watching him grow and develop.
10. Because I feel like God has created me to be a mom.

It's such a blessing!